Wanna wake up? Stab yourself!
The following are acceptable breakfasts activities for men:
- Gargling gravel or shards of glass
- Stabbing yourself in the thigh with a fork
- Snorting lines of coke off Kevin Bacon’s chest
- Massaging coffee grinds into wounds caused by fork thrusting
- Eating 4 dozen eggs if you’re a lad, 5 if you’re grown
If you even mention bacon you groveling neck beard meme whore I will end you with a pelvic thrust.